RSVP for Theo’s Retirement Party


According to multiple media sources, Crackhead Theo (CHT) has threatened to
retire if the referees don’t cease their “TORMENTATION” of one CHT. See,
CHT don’t realize that the MASCOTS have tormented him and have found a way
to channel the negative vibes to the REFS.

NOW – CHT to retire? Well, golly ! We at the CRACK DEN ought to send him
out in style with a retirement party.

First the GOLD WATCH – Thanking CHT for his long service to the NHL.

From MSN Shopping site – here is the watch we picked out for him

Men’s Thin 14K Gold Bracelet Watch
Gold, Gold, Gold! For the man who wants and deserves the very best. Our 14K
gold bracelet watch by Croton is a statement in elegance. Only $ 2,018.99!!

A nice gold watch to go with the Gold Medal !

Now – retirement home ! – how about this?
Truth or Consequences, NM
A Manufactured Home Community
For Ages 55 and over

Well, this place is in TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NEW MEXICO ! How fitting !
Also, its near his Crack Rehab center – in case he has any relapses <g>!
Then the Party !
That one is easy ! We will host it HERE AT THE CRACK DEN !!!

CHT might wind up off the Ranger$ if he has any more outbursts this week.
He is becoming – day by day – untradeable. This will be BAD for THE CRACK
DEN!! WE NEED THE MATERIAL!!!

So – CHT – PLEASE DON’T RETIRE !!! STAY WITH THE RANGER$ !!

all our best from THE CRACK DEN

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