Theo-ries Why We Do This.

My theo-ries as to why We made this website

an editorial

NOTE: I want everything here to be kept in perspective. I want everyone to understand that this site is a PARODY, first and foremost.

The next reason for creating this site is because I am the biggest die hard Islander fan on the planet. The Islander’s and Ranger’s rivalry is like none other. Through the years both teams have had their ups and downs, and both teams have had their setbacks.

The Ranger’s and their 54 year championship drought, Ooh La La Sassoon TV commercials and the Islanders John Spano and fisherman debacle. The spirit of intense rivalry of this website should be taken. Right now Islander fans have the upper hand cracking on the Rangers fans, for the time being. Having made the playoffs the last two years, even though they exited after the first round in both series. But you have to compare that to the Rangers 7 year playoff drought. Ah the word drought, twice in a paragraph when referring to the Rangers.

Our favorite fiasco in recent years is this Theo Fleury catastrophe for the Ranger’s. Here is my theo-ry on the whole topic:

When we make fun of Theo, We initially were making fun of him as a forward that plays on the Rangers. In this mindset, it’s like having to show respect for the President. You may not have liked Bill Clinton, for example, but you had to respect the office he held. Furthering that thought, we initially had no-ill will towards Theo as a person. BUT despise him and all New York Rangers. We are just happy that one of the Rangers players has a kink in their armor.

As a human being, We wish Theo could fight off his internal demons: his addiction, his Crohn’s disease affliction, and his connection with Graham James, his midget coach who is behind bars for sexually assaulting a former teammate. But as a Rangers player, and our being Islander’s fans, We couldn’t care less. Theo is Theo’s worst enemy.

In this same thought, We can even bring in HEADACHE ERIC to the mix. Yeah, the guy that had all those concussions. As a human, We don’t want to see harm come to any one, but, as a member of the Rangers, oh well. We digress for a moment, We have to mention that in Lindros’ case, people say, “Oh that’s not something you should make fun of.” Well he has chosen to make his bed, now he has to sleep in it. If he gets his eighth ding on the noggin and does permanent damage to himself, its his choice, but its our choice to be able to tell him I think its a stupid choice based on greed, ego and fame. It’s funny because there has actually been online contests as to when his last concussion was going to occur. We lost, We had said it would happen in pre-season, occurring when HEADACHE tripped over CRACKHEAD trying to snort the blue line.

It really is not something to be made fun of, BUT, Theo seems to constantly aggravate the whole situation. He is a supposed professional. Yet, all he does is bring attention to himself through a series of on and off ice incidents. We have all heard of his mauling the San Jose Sharks Mascot, leaving a game early and then we get into the realm of where he makes it personal. By this We mean, when he gives the middle finger to all the fans at the NVMC. We take offense to this. We take offense that He took one of the Islanders players stick and broke it during the last game. Recently, Theo cried to the NHL for some relief over something that was said on the ice by Detroit’s Chris Chelios. The list goes on and on. Rumor has it it was a comment referring to his relationship with Graham James.

These are some of the reasons. The other is the lack of accountability on behalf of both Fleury and the Rangers. We honestly believe that if Theo had just come out and said, “I have an addiction to this particular drug” nothing would have become of it. Instead, they all chose to keep it a big secret as to whether it was drugs or alcohol.

It is now too late, even if Theo comes out and says he had an addiction to alcohol. Everyone has the mind set that he was in rehab for crack cocaine. It will be hard for history to change, just as if they did find out that there was indeed a gunman on the grassy knoll. Additionally, it is not unthinkable for him to be involved with crack since another player, Kevin Stevens, a former Ranger, was arrested in St. Louis with prostitutes and drugs.

If he had just came out and gave the public the full story, we would not have such great ammo against him. He also instigates us, the opposing fans by showing gestures and the like. Instead of this individual using his celebrity status to promote the solving of the problems and helping others, Theo continues to be an embarrassment. In fact, I challenge Theo to see this website in the humor and rivalry that it is meant. I further challenge Theo, to use the public awareness that this website and the whole CRACKHEAD THEO movement has generated (it has been noted in newspapers across America and has worldwide status) to promote the causes of such organizations as D.A.R.E or even Alcoholics Anonymous. Its ok to have problems. Its even better to take those problems, make light of them and do something good for a change, especially the kids who look towards sports stars as role models. Do you accept my offer Mr. Fleury?

I want to give public accolades to Newsday’s Alan Hahn for the article he published.  He mentioned that the fans, who call Theo, “Crackhead”, needed to get a life, FINALLY, his published article, “Something Must be Done about Fleury”, called for some type of action against Theo. I believe Alan is the only NY area reporter who has taken that bold step. Hmmm…a possible challenge for one, Larry Brooks?

There has been great discussion concerning the addiction portion of this whole mess. Is it a sickness or just a bad habit? A very dear friend of mind has pointed out that regardless of if its a sickness, the first time that you pick up cocaine and do it…IT’S A CRIMINAL OFFENSE. everything past that is a moot discussion. For example, there is a doctor, who ironically is from Rockville Center, a few miles from SMG’s crown jewel, asks the question whether you are born a coke addict or not. I skimmed over his article, Is Cocaine Addiction Caused by Cocaine?. From the way I understand his article, you can be born a cocaine addict, however, as long as you don’t touch the stuff, you will never know. Thus, if Theo, as an example, had the so-called disease of cocaine addiction, and he consumed coke, a criminal offense, he then stimulated the catalyst for his disease. This topic has been discussed to death on many message boards and chat rooms. The main issue again is not the disease of addiction but the first time anyone does crack, they are a criminal.

In closing, recent actions by Theo have started my pendulum swinging from the platform of this just being a Islanders-Rangers rivalry. He has offended many of my personal friends. He has offended me by the embarrassment he causes my home, my country, my favorite sport and my favorite team. If some how, this notion can distract a once decent hockey player, from playing well and improving the chance for MY NY Islanders to improve – well so be it. If it can end MY Islanders 7 year playoff drought and increase the $65million dollar Rangers, the worst team money can buy, to miss for a fifth year, well – I am all for it.


Oh yeah,

One last comment…

This goes out to the smelly one simply known as Goldie. You do not speak for every Islander fan.


You are a hypocritical SOB who I have heard curse at children, who come up asking for your autograph because of your court jester like antics.

AND a mighty Felix Unger to the press who propagates this moron’s message. Even after the likes of Charles Wang, a professional businessman and multi-millionaire, has told him to SIT DOWN during a press conference. All this did was give an opportunity for the press to report on the owners and Mr. Wang getting bad PR.

yeah, you started the 1940 chant and Al Gore created the internet.