Crackhead Family Fued


CrackDen – Crackhead Family Feud

Hello ! I am Louie Anderson ! ! I am here to host this special edition of

CRACKHEAD FAMILY FEUD !

We are very much a current events driven show here – we have assembled a couple of interesting teams here —-

We have two teams here – CRACKHEADS – and those who have been DAMAGED by the actions of the CRACKHEADS

Here are the contestants: First for TEAM CRACKHEAD –

From the NHL and the New York Ranger$ – Crackhead Theo ( CHT) !

From major league baseball – Darryl Strawberry !

From the NFL – Lawrence Taylor

From the political world – former Washington DC mayor Marion Barry !

 

From the world of those who have been damaged by these crackheads

From NHL – San Jose Sharkie ! – The mascot who was punched out by CHT

From Baseball – George Steinbrenner – who is constantly made to look the fool by
his rehab boys ( Strawberry, Steve Howe and Doc Gooden)

From Football – Wellington Mara – the owner of the New Jersey Giants

From Washington DC – the “Bitch” of Mayor Barry – the woman who LURED him with Crack – Rasheeda Moore !

 

Louie Anderson : Welcome everyone ! Lets get down to the FEUD !

Anderson: You all know the rules – let’s have the two heads of the family CHT and SJ Sharkie approach the stage ! Time to play the FEUD !…………..ahh….Sharkie – what’s the matter

SJ Sharkie : Last time I ran into CHT – I got these ( lifts up his SJ Sharks jersey to show broken ribs)

 

CHT: And I can make it happen again A**Hole !

Anderson: NOW GUYS, this is TV ! Now – Can’t we all get along ! Let’s play the FEUD

ANNOUNCER: DELIVERY FOR MR. BARRY !

Barry: It’s the damned FBI again trying to trap me with a BITCH HO !

Rasheeda Moore: Won’t be the first time you got snagged by a HO!

Anderson : PEOPLE ! LET’S PLAY THE FEUD ALREADY !!!

Taylor : OK Louie – anyone gets out of line – they have to come through me !

Strawberry : LT – did you say “line”?

CHT: SHUT UP ! LET’s Play – or I will give you a two hander – like I did to Cairns

Anderson: We surveyed the studio audience and have selected the top 5 answers to our survey questions. First team to answer gets to play the FEUD. IF you miss it – the other team gets a chance to STEAL on you.

Wellington Mara : Why am I here?

Anderson: OK – Here it is: CRACK _______

CHT : ( hits buzzer first)

Anderson: OK CHT – what’s it gonna be?

CHT – CRACK – DEN

Taylor, Strawberry, Barry: GOOD ANSWER ! GOOD ANSWER !

SJ Sharkie: _” DAMN ! That was what I would have said “

Anderson: SURVEY SAYS :

 

****************************************************

DEN 32

 

DING DING DING!!

Anderson: YOU GOT IT ! You keep on going – 32 people in our survey said “Den” – making it our # 1 answer! Come on down Darryl !

Strawberry – How are ya Louie ?

Anderson: Fine. You got a clue as to what # 2 might be?

Strawberry: Yes. Some say DEN – I say HOUSE. I always am on the lookout for a good CrackHouse. Hmmm – hope my probation officer did not hear that

CHT: I know a good rehab clinic Darryl – Gretzky has the number.

Anderson. – Crack House.

CHT – GOOD ANSWER !


Barry – GOOD ANSWER !

Anderson – SURVEY SAYS !

************************************************************************
Crack HOUSE 23

 

DING DING DING !

Anderson : OK ! Come on up Larry Taylor !

Taylor: OK – CRACK OUT!

Anderson – CRACK OUT?


Taylor – YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT?

Anderson – ( looking scared) OK BY me big guy

CHT – Hey Anderson – You are a big guy yourself —– FAT GUY

Anderson – SURVEY SAYS

************************************************************************
Crack OUT 0

 

Buzzer goes off

Anderson: Strike one !

Barry – Let me up there STUPID CRACK FOOL !

Anderson: Hello Mayor Barry!

Barry – I can look right over there – (pointing at the woman who trapped him into getting arrested) CRACK – HO !

Rasheeda Moore : HEY ! I resemble that remark

Anderson : Survey Says

 

CRACK HO 31

 

Anderson: Way to go Mayor !

Barry: Thank you sir !

Anderson : Now CHT – Your turn

CHT – OK you side of beef – throw one at me !

Anderson: What?

CHT – Shut up – or I will use you as a floating futon – like I did to Hasek in the Olympics

Anderson: What is your answer?

CHT – CRACK REF

Anderson: REF?

CHT : YES – REF. They are all CRAZY and OUT TO GET ME

Anderson – What does that have to do with Crack

CHT : REF !! That is my answer

Strawberry : Hey CHT ! I don’t think so

Anderson: Survey Says:

 

Crack REF 0

Anderson: I am so sorry CHT !


CHT – YOU SEE ! They are out to get me!

Strawberry: Let me get in the batters box

Anderson: You miss this one Straw – you could be back out on the streets

Steinbrenner: Not with me out here sir ! I will take care of Straw – and will find a way to get him back in the lineup

Anderson: Take it Darryl – if you miss it – the other side can trump you

Strawberry – CRACK – Joint

Barry: No – you mean “Pipe” – take it from me

CHT – where is your pipe? I ‘ll take it NOW!

Strawberry – No – Doc and I used to smoke it – CRACK JOINT

Anderson – SURVEY SAYS

 

CRACK Joint 0

 

CHT – YOU DOOFUS !

Strawberry – DAMN

Anderson: OK Team Turmoil – Huddle up and give me an answer

SJ Sharkie: Well – hate to run – but CRACK COCAINE


Steinbrenner : GOOD ANSWER ! That is what Steve Howe would have said

Wellington Mara: Good God ! GET ME OUT OF HERE

Anderson – SURVEY SAYS

 

Crack Cocaine 18

 

DING DING DING !

Anderson – and SJ Sharkie and his team WIN

CHT – Oh no he don’t

Melee ensues ——-

Anderson – Well – that’s it for Celebrity Crackhead Feud ———– ( In the background CHT starts whaling away on Steinbrenner and SJ Sharkie) GOOD NIGHT!

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